Weblog

Saturday, 28 April 2012

  • goodbye.

    its been a month since we broke up.

    i think now we know it was for the best.

    it felt like there was a lack of closure but some one once told me

    you have to find your own closure, nobody else will give it to you.

    i think yesterday i finally found it.

    or maybe im just talking out of resentment.

    despite the lack of trust i had in you, i truly believed that no matter what you would never betray me.

    i guess i was a just a joke to you. 

    my thoughts, my views,

    i guess none of that matters as long as you have someone else to confirm how humorous it is to be me.

    i mean whats not to laugh about.

    someone with no direction,

    someone who needs emotional support to get me through the day, to help me feel that life is worth living,.

    to try my best to keep life interesting so i have something to look forward to.

    yeah it sure is funny. i can even hear my parents laughing.

    the only thing that hurts more then anything was me confronting to you my biggest fears and insecurities, you took it, said you would never think anything less of me.

    and further more, you were never a wast of time. you were someone i thought could motivate me, to better myself..

    anyways sorry for not telling you how i felt in person.

Saturday, 07 April 2012

  • ramble

    i try my best to hold my composure.

    im so sick of people and always being let down.

    im done trying to rationalize, and give people the benefit of the doubt.

    im trying to tell myself that you were not my biggest mistake.

    am i naive to believe i could still rely on you to be there for me.

    ...like i would for you. but then again do u even need me? 

    am i just in your way? 

    was i asking too much to still be friends?

    or should memories stay memories?

    i wish i could get inside your head. 

    sometimes i even felt like the only reason you did the things you did for me was to help boost your own ego or was obligated to do it.

    did you really wanted to do them for me?

    i didnt want to be just a girlfriend. i wanted to be your best friend.

    i didnt want you to hide your thoughts. your feelings..

    ive made my mistakes by pushing you away.

    always having to make compromises for one another. 

    i know that i can never be who i am when im with you without thinking twice. 

    he says all i listen to is rap music. so i guess thats all ill listen to.

    is it weird that i dont really think about the things i like?...

    i just want to do things when i feel like it. 

    couldnt u tell i was exhausted?

    i wanted to emotionally connect with you. and the fact that i cant even tell you this in person

    ...

    ive never felt so disappointed.

     

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

  • It's true.

    I have terrible communication skills.

    Broken sentences.

    Thoughts never spoken.

    And even less emphases of a real emotion.

    sometimes I get through to people through my poetry.

    But then again you might not get it all. the analogies.

    So what's a voice in a distance to do?

    Call it a tragedy.

    Loud whispers, cries out to Casper.

    What, who, when, where, or should i rather..

    wait.

    to say that ive been screaming out DISASTER.

Friday, 02 March 2012

  • i know ive been gone for a minute,

    caught up with things never part of my mission.

    working for a dollar a day,

    surrounded by cowards and fakes.

    learning a few things but making the same mistakes.

    and im not saving face when i tell you my friends faded away

    and the mistakes ive made were me not seeing how differently i became.

    so i took a step back, and everything felt estranged.

    my friends and mere strangers blended into all one in the same.

    damn. i feel sort of ashamed.

    but are you getting this message?

    are we even on the same page?

    i guess ill be the first one to say what nobody else will say

    i lost sight of my game

    my direction and aim

    and finding a way back

    is just never the same.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

  • cuppy cake sam!

    You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
    Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
    You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
    Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
    And I love you so and I want you to know
    That I'll always be right here
    And I love to sing sweet songs to you
    Because you are so dear